CRAZINESS

THIS IS A TEST ONLY A TEST

The Different levels of pornography

When one looks at the way in which certain avenues of popular interest are approached and packaged in their delivery to your eyes and ears, one gets a nagging sense of being the victim of highly biased society when sexual pornography seems to become the equivalent of it's more general classification of pornographic material. Afterall, what is of the essence here is the exploitative marketing of a very intangible, sought after and mouth watering commodity: inaccessibility. We're a nation of people spewed forth by the domineering, imperialistic penis of manifest destiny, penetrating itself into the fertile soils of possibility to define existence by that which can be felt, seen, touched, owned, experienced, drank, ate, fucked; all of these actions being underlined with a certain necessity of aggression and entitlement. We're all explorers and entrepreneurs and property barons in our own right, and we're all hungry for that which we haven't already consumed. Be it the most perfect example of rarified flawless flesh, the most pristinely cultivated high-priced marijuana or the untouchable secrecy of the celebrities who matter so much because of the exclusivity of the VIP club that is their own lives, the most marketable commodity we have to offer is that which dances the fine line between immediate inaccessibility and the familiarity of a coveted lingering taste.

( i think ive basically plagiarized baudrillard with this one)

" The Real World" VS. The Real World.

Ok, so apparently, MTV's The Real World is attempting to deploy it's demonic people-mannequins into my home of Brooklyn for the sake of breeding overblown pseudo-drama.

Here's my guess at the 5 assholes that will be polluting our collective social pool:

1)A 23 year old dyke who looks like a 12 year old boy and wears a Bianchi cycling hat

2) An investment banker who looks like Jerry O'connell, has a wardrobe that consists solely of generic athletic shoes, khakis, gold rolex and an interchangeable collection of pastel colored tennis shirts.

3) A 45 year old Dominican bodega owner named Israel who has " FUCK" tattooed on his right hand, wears a cap emblazoned with the logo of a local carwash backwards, only dons a white mesh muscle shirt, and has 15 children, and a felony record for serial raping.

4) A 21 year old feedback loop player/acoustic guitar musician/coffee barista/messenger/blogger/graphic designer/loft party organizer who is currently unemployed

5) A 30 year old Polish chick who speaks English reasonably well, but doesn't say one fucking word to anyone ever.

have fun with your end of humanity unpeeling before your eyes.

The Evolution of Hipster Hats

Hipsters are generally looked at some as representing some of the most "leading edge" ( more modern, cool way of saying 'cutting edge') contemporary white-boy urban fashions, and for the most part, I would say that summation is dead on for better or worse. If there is a semi-cohesive brand of self-emerging fashion that will inevitably exemplify the new millenium decade in about 7 to 10 years retrospect, much like loud primary colors, flannel and flat tops did for the 90's, then the Hipster Look is most likely going to be it. While we all inevitably laugh at the transparent attempt for every era to distinguish itself by conjuring highly self-conscious, yet inexplicably unconsciously coordinated, fashion trends, the prevalance of them generally force us to become innoculated against their absurdity enough to only succumb to fits of laughter and expressions of ridicule upon later reflection years down the line. I mean, I wasn't around for the bad perms and man-stockings of twisted sister, but I'm sure if they didn't have the modicum of respect garnered for their novelty, most people not apart of the "macho drag metal scene" would have scratched their heads, entrenched in just that much more befuddlement.

While there are many inventive, nostalgia collages that make up the essence of your typica hipster, it seems nothing comes and goes more quickly out of vogue than head-gear.
here is my attempt to track down the phase changes of the highly mutational cultural contagion that i will simply refer to as " the hipster hat"

The Trucker Hat: 2001-2003

( figure 1)

















Ahhh, the memorable iconic ubiquity of the Trucker Hat, who could forget. Exemplifying the semi-ironic urban sophisticate cum working class hero hipster image to a tee, The Trucker hat, despite falling out of style amongst the radioactive core of hipsterdom, was probably the single-most potent strand of brooklynite DNA to squiggle it's way to the glossy, shimmering surface of the mainstream, nearly rivaling horn-rimmed glasses in their quintessentiality of a demographic, before becoming the most mass-culture whored piece of counter-culture chic to ever exist....

don't fucking believe me? Think I'm an overzealous ASSHOLE? ( I am) well, here's some of my evidence:

( figure 2)







Yea motherfucker... now you remember.... yes... yes....

There is good reason as to why this particular trend pulled what I like to call a "hindenburg"... vanished into thin air just as it was building fire.





The Conductor Hat: 2003-2006

While this particular strain of hipsterdom splintered off into different permutations, mainly

giving rise to different textures and fabrics while maintaining the same ( figure 3)
silhouette ( as seen to the right) the pseudo-working class, vintage appeal that was represented by the trucker hat was carried over into the more traditional look adored by the LES and Williamsburg sub-masses




(figure 4)





















The Bowler: 2006-2007

This seemed to be a fairly short lived cranium-caddy. Short lived that is in the trend-terrarium of self-approval. Located in cities across America. A few examples of glorified chum in the sharkarazzi tank have donned the dome-ified bowler as well including but not limited to; Samantha Ronson and her brother, the douchebag from the dresden dolls, and some random cat-walking flesh mannequins. Then there were the dudes like this, that really brought the particular article to it's short reign of hipster hegemony:

The Fedora: 2007-2008



What is it that a Vice reading Brooklynite and Dick Tracy have in common? THE FEDORA MOTHERFUCKER. This is a particularly bad ass throw back to the golden-oldy days. If a 1930's turntable connected to a megaphone wasn't a 1930's turntable connected to a megaphone, and was, say, a hat or something, it would be the Fedora.








The Bicycle hat: 2007-2008

Perhaps operating in tandem with, or competing directly against the Fedora at this point in time, the bicycle hat differs from it's predecessors in that it has, allegedly, some kind of practical value. However, from what I can tell, the types who wear them most... girls who wear flannel shirts, tight jeans rolled up to the knees and sport extremely short dykey haircuts... don't really have a need for protecting their motionless close-cropped scalps from the terrorizing force of wind-resistance.

















I believe this is a continual work in progress...

An Angry Opinion About Los Angeles Not Necessarily Endorsed By This Blogger

Brooklyn, NY: The inner-sanctum of Hipster-dom, along with it's spiritual annexes; Austin, Minneapolis, Seattle, Hollywood etc. tends to house avenues and streets that bleed fresh creative explorations before vulturous bacterias grow within and feed off of the collective right-brain hemorrhages. Well, maybe not Hollywood, anymore.
Hollywood seems to have been reduced to having it's heart valves that used to gush blood for the sake of flowing become clogged with festering deleterious dyssocial disease long-time go.The reasons for why Hollywood, unlike some other metropolises that house a constant, age-old war of what reduces down to Jedi versus Sith, has chosen to become a breeding pen of cultural ouroboros remains unclear.
Perhaps it's a dilemma rooted in urban planning and geography; The residential, industrial and commercial regions of Manhattan and it's surrounding areas are in many cases interchangeable pieces of urban puzzle logic. When creativity was pushed out of Manhattan, the abandoned factories and apartments of Brooklyn magically became enchanted by the imagination of young artists and entrepreneurs and became lofts, music venues and independent store-fronts.
The cultural exchange rate was phenomenal. High concepts, for low-rent . Hollywood on the other hand, has grown and decayed within it's own half-life in a sandy-bowl of desert that could indeed be God's very own petri-dish for inane experiments. Unlike New York's vertically inclined, building-block potential of crammed, chunks of accessible potential space, you have disconnected islands of social expressions tangentially weaved together by long strips of intercity highway dotted with mini-malls, 7-11s and Diners still housing unchanged 60's decor.
The claustrophobia of the East Coast Carnival is what in the end seems to breed it's unique form of intimacy. Walking through Brooklyn can feel like a beautifully dizzying kaleidoscopic experience of neighborhoods blending into one another; the overall repetition is subtly augmented by a slow-burning evolution of cultural ambiance. In Los Angeles, it's hard to really pin down where it is you are actually existing. With it's lopsided looming hills, contorted freeways, huge faces on billboards and poorly integrated regions, it wouldn't be a far cry to look at it as some real-life diorama of an autistic child's convoluted drawing of a cartoony Gotham of some kind.
New York City, for the most part, was built brick by brick, outwards, and you can see that. This is how the construction work, and this is how the social environment works.
When you really think about it, Hollywood looks like a boring, trite suburb that had some Monolithic Beast shat haphazard chunks of city all over it.